Gilbert, Mattie and a whole bunch of Dissaproval
by Wooly Pig Socks
Summary: Take two nations, add two dissaproving brothers, an annoyed Englishman, a cute italian, a slightly creepy frenchman and a small yellow chick and you get...? Prussia and Canada's first date. PruCan, FrUk, GerIta and more! rated T for swearing.
1. first meetings and 'Stalkers'

'Hey, sir? What's wrong?' Canada called out; an albino man was sitting alone in a corner, playing with a small chick, sadness hanging across his ruby eyes.

'Ahaaa! Nothing at all! The awesome me is always fine!' Canada looked shocked.

'Y-you can hear me?' he asked.

'Of course I can! Why? Am I not supposed to? Because if so, i'm still gonna listen!'

'N-no, most people don't notice me, not even my brother.' Canada sighed, plopping himself down next to the Albino.

'That's harsh, I wish west couldn't see me. It'd save me from his unawesomeness.' Canada didn't say anything about how 'unawesome' it was for no one to notice you and instead changed the subject.

'S-so, w-what is wrong? Y-you look unhappy...'

'Don't worry kid, it's nothing.'

'O-oh.' Was all that Canada could say, the two sat in an agreeable silence, until Prussia found himself becoming bored.

'So, what's your name kid? I'm too awesome to not know you.'

'O-oh, I'm Canada, Matthew Williams... And you?' Prussia looked at him, his face showing only traces of the true hurt that question had just caused. Canada, however, being quite observant, picked up on these quickly.

'I-I'm s-sorry s-sir.' He muttered, stuttering more than usual.

'Don't sweat it kid, it's Prussia, AKA Gilbert Awesome Beilschmidt.' Prussia said, sticking out a hand, which Canada meekly shook.

'Piyo! Piyo!'

'Oh, right, I've gotta go feed Gilbird, he gets so unawesome when he's hungry, I'll talk to you soon Mattie!' Prussia yelled, jumping up and dashing off, putting the chick in his hair.

Canada shook his head in disbelief, someone had actually noticed and had and conversation with him? It was a miracle, even if said person was Prussia. Canada had been warned many times by America that Prussia was no good. However, England did go drinking with Prussia a lot and France always hung out with him, so surely he wasn't that bad?

Prussia stayed on Canada's mind for sometime before they saw each other again, about a week after they first met.

'Hey Mattie!' Gilbert yelled.

'Oh, hey Gilbert, how are you?'

'The awesome me is good! You?'

'I'm fine thank you.' Canada smiled.

'You're not stuttering today Mattie!' Prussia exclaimed ruffling Canada's hair.

'No, i suppose I'm not...' Canada mumbled. 'I don't suppose you wanna go and see a movie or something? What with West being so busy with Feli... Well, the awesome me isn't supposed to be on his own so much,' _Oh, so he's lonely..._ Canada thought _and I haven't been to the movies for some time._

'Sure, that'd be fun.' Canada flashed him a small smile, which soon turned into a look of annoyance as a familiar American voice boomed out.

'HEY, PRUSSIA, STEP AWAY FROM MATTIE!'

'Oh maples, here we go.' Canada muttered.

'MATTIE, MOVE AWAY FROM HIM. I _NOT _LETTING PRUSSIA POLLUTE YOU.'

'Pollute me...?' Canada was confused, he'd been partially raised by France and America thought he was still innocent? Not possible.

'Hey! Hey! The awesome me wouldn't try that with Mattie!'

'ONLY I CAN CALL HIM MATTIE!' The two looked about ready to come to blows, so Canada decided to intervene.

'A-al, please, he isn't doing me any harm!'

'He was totally putting the moves on you Mattie!'

'H-he was asking me to go to the C-cinema with him! I-it's not illegal Alfred!'

'Mattie~! I told you to stay away from him!' America whined.

'That's not Awesome at all! And why do you have the authority to tell Mattie who he can and can't talk to?'

'I'm his brother!'

'Yeah, his brother that doesn't even notice him half the time!' Prussia burst out, pissed off at America. _How dare he? _he thought _Mattie's not just some lapdog he can control, he has a life too! Pfft, America is such a fail. _America just gawped.

'Well, I'll see you later Mattie, I'll pick you up tomorrow, bout 7! It's gonna be awesome.' Prussia grinned and flashed him a thumbs up. As he turned to leave he felt someone tug at his sleeve.

'H-here.' Canada muttered, thrusting a small piece of paper a Prussia. 'M-my number, incase you need me...' He mumbled slightly, blushing. Prussia accepted the paper and handed over another, with his written on it.

'Ok, I'll see you later Mattie! Erm... Is he ok?' Prussia jabbed the still in shock America.

'He'll be fine, he does this sometimes. I'll get England and sort him out.' Prussia laughed and walked off, waving to Canada, who waved back.

'MATTIE, STOP WAVING AT THAT PSYCOPATH.'

'Iggy! Tell him that he shouldn't even be thinking about this!' America moaned, pouting.

'About what?' England asked, not looking up from his newspaper. America had dragged Canada to England's house in the hope of persuading him to call off his date.

'Going out with Prussia!' England's face cracked into a grin.

'Gil finally had the balls to ask then? Good for him.'

'Whatdoyoumeangoodforhim?' America yelled, mashing up his words.

'I'm disturbed I understood that. Prussia's been going on about Matthew all week.'

'SO HE'S A STALKER AND STALKERS ARE BAD FOR YOU MATTIE!' America yelled.

'N-no shit, Sherlock.' Canada muttered.

'Ahem, Matthew, what have I told you about saying that?' England scolded.

'That it's disrespectful to one of the greatest characters in all literacy?' Canada recited.

'Exactly, now, about this date with Gilbert, go right ahead, I'll keep Alfred busy tomorrow.' England flashed him a crafty grin, which Canada returned.

'Ha! But Iggy, you've got that date with Francis tomorrow! So you can't watch me!' America gloated.

'I suppose you'll just have to come with us...' England sighed.

'Oh, ewww! I don't wanna see you and Francis playing tonsil tennis!' England blushed.

'Right, for that I'm putting you on the toddler leash.'

'Aw man! Iggy, I hate it when you do that!'

'You shouldn't be such a prick then. Now both of you, bugger off. I need to ring Francis and tell him about the new arrangements.' America and Canada decided to listen and both left quickly.

* * *

**Right, this was supposed to be a one shot for **PiratedxHearts

**which is now 8 pages long, and not even finished yet.**

**Sooo, Chapter fic!**

**This is mainly fluffy Crack.**

**With PruCan, FrUk, GerIta and possibly others.**

**I've never written any of these pairing before, so this'll be interesting.**

**Reviews?**


	2. Tables, FrUk and ohmyapplepie

'Bruder, are you sure this is a good idea?' Germany stood in Prussia's bedroom, arms crossed.

'And why would it be a bad idea then west?' Prussia raised an eyebrow.

'I just don't think you're suited to Max.'

'It's Matt, Bruder.'

'Same thing.' Germany waved his hand dismissively. 'I just don't want you getting hurt.'

'West, chill out! The awesome me won't get my heart broken or anything!'

'I wasn't talking about your heart! You realise that if you do anything stupid then America will rip you limb from limb!'

'Pfft, I'm not going to do anything stupid west!' Germany raised an eyebrow.

'What's that look for?' Prussia yelled.

'I don't believe you Bruder.'

'Oh get stuffed west! Give me a chance!'

'Ve~ what's wrong Doitsu?' Italy asked, appearing from nowhere and tugging on Germany's sleeve.

'West's trying to stop me from my awesome date with Mattie!' Prussia yelled.

'Ve? Why? I thought Doitsu loved Gilbert, so shouldn't Doitsu want Gilbert to be happy?' Italy questioned, looking up at Germany innocently. Germany took one look at the Italian and melted.

'I suppose so Feli... Sure, Bruder do whatever, just don't screw up. I've got enough on my plate right now without you accidentally starting world war 3 because England, France and America are pissed off at you.'

'Well, thank you West and Feli for that wonderful interruption, now the awesome me needs to get ready soooo... leave.' Prussia began to shoo Germany and Italy from his room. Germany got shoved out first and Prussia used this opportunity to talk to Italy.

'Thanks Feli, West can be such a stick in the mud.'

'Ve~ I don't mind. Besides, it'll be nice for you to find someone. Maybe we can meet him soon!'

'Woah, woah, Feli, It's only our first date! Don't get so far ahead of yourself.'

'Ve~ First dates can lead to many things you know.' Italy winked and skipped out the room.

'Fuck, when did he get intelligent?' Prussia muttered to Gilbird, who 'piyoed' in response.

At Canada's house the young nation was suffering from a similar grilling.

'But Mattie! He's German; we've fought loads of wars against them!' America whined, hands on his hips. They were both stood in Canada's bedroom, as America had decided to interrupt Canada getting dressed.

'Well, maybe it's time that we started getting along then.' Canada replied, pulling on his favourite hoody.

'That's not the point! He's a bad influence!'

'Al, we were both raised by Arthur and Francis, you can't exactly plead innocence.'

'He'll take you out drinking at dodgy pubs and rape you in a ditch!' America cried, becoming hysterical. Canada stared at him, slack jawed.

'Al, you hardly know him!'

'YOU DON'T KNOW HIM ANY BETTER!' America screamed.

'YOU'RE JUST GETTING ANNOYING NOW AL!' Canada yelled back, although it was only really as loud as America's normal voice.

'ALFRED F JONES AND MATTHEW WILLIAMS IF YOU TWO DO NOT STOP ARGUING SOON I AM GOING TO TIE YOU BOTH TO TREES-' England was heard yelling up the stairs, but was cut off by America.

'YEAH, I'M REALLY SCARED OF THAT.' He yelled back, with heavy sarcasm.

'BUTT NAKED AND BLINDFOLDED, THEN I'LL GIVE RUSSIA DIRECTIONS TO YOUR EXCACT LOCATIONS.' America was about to say something back, but when he remembered that England was an ex-Pirate he decided against it, not wanting to have to 'become one with mother Russia'.

'Sorry England.' America and Canada mumbled.

'GOOD. NOW BOTH OF YOU GET A MOVE ON OR WE'LL ALL BE LATE.'

'Good one Mattie, now England's pissed off with us.' America accused.

'Me? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DECIDED TO BARGE IN ON ME AND START LECTURING ME!'

'YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE THE ONE GOING ON A DATE WITH SOME CREEPY GUY!'

'TREES, ROPES, MAP, RUSSIA.' England reminded them. Groaning, the two brothers shut up and finished getting ready.

'So what are you watching with Gil then Matthew?' England asked. The three of them were all in Americas car, America was driving and England and Canada were both in the back.

'Erm, I-I'm not s-sure...' Canada mumbled.

'Bit nervous there Mattie? I would be too if I was going on a date with a lunatic.' America commented.

'Alfred. Shut up. Now. Gil's a friend of mine and your bullshits getting annoying.' England snapped.

'See Mattie, he's one of Iggy's dodgy mates!'

'What on earth do you mean 'Iggy's dodgy mates'?' England questioned.

'You do out drinking with him and he hangs out with Francis and Antonio.'

'And what, pray tell, is the problem with that?'

'Francis rapes tables and Antonio watches.' America said matter-of-factly.

'What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Smoking?' England asked, confused.

'I'm telling the truth! Francis was doing a table while Antonio seemed to be enjoying watching.'

'When the fuck was this?' England asked.

'Bout a week ago, during a break from a meeting.' England blushed red, Canada's mouth opened slightly in shock. America noticed their faces in the rear-view mirror and pieced things together.

'OH MY HOLY APPLE PIE! IGGY WHY WERE YOU DRESSED AS A TABLE?' America yelled slamming on the brakes.

'I was _on _the table dipshit.' England muttered.

'Wait, why was Antonio there?' America questioned.

'Francis's idea...' England blushed.

'Maples.' Canada muttered, his mind burning from the mental images.

'Seriously Francis, it was the weirdest thing! West and the Italy brothers notes all got screwed up and Feli found a used condom on his chair! Of course the awesome me got blamed again.' Prussia rambled.

'Oui, that is tres peculiar...' France smirked slightly.

'Anyway, you meeting Artie again today?'

'Oui, Angleterre's has to keep an eye on Amérique though...'

'Yeah, Mattie's brother is being so unawesome about this.'

'Don't worry Prusse; we'll tie Amérique to a tree or something.' France grinned.

* * *

**Yeah, Chapter two already.**

**I was bored today, mainly as I couldn't go school.**

***has sprained ankle***

**The whole 'France rapes tables' was actually yelled at me by my America.**

**Yeah, I bit her... XD**

**Reveiws?  
**


	3. Movies, Bushes and Lazer Tea

'C'MON OLD MAN, GET A MOVE ON!'

'WHO'RE YOU CALLING OLD?'

'YOU, YOU'RE SO OLD YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER YOUR BIRTHDAY.'

'THAT WAS FROM STRESS, CAUSED BY _YOU._'

'YOU JUST WON'T ADMIT THAT YOU'RE ALMOST AS OLD AS CHINA!'

'BUGGER OFF ALFRED.'

'I CAN'T, YOU'VE GOT ME ON A FREAKIN' BABY LEASH.'

'WELL, I DID SAY I WOULD.'

'YES, BUT, I DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD. I MEAN, WHAT NEXT? PUT ME IN A STROLLER?'

'DON'T TEMPT ME FUCKWAD.'

'Oh Maples...'

'Sounds like our dates.' France said to Prussia and then quickly intervened in England and Americas fight. The two had just started getting physical and France didn't want to be banned from another cinema.

'Bonjour mon petit Lapin!' France cried, hugging England from behind.

'O-oh, Afternoon Frog.' England muttered, embarrassed by France's blatant show of affection.

'Ah, petit lapin, why must you still call me that?' France asked nuzzling England's hair.

'Force of habit.' England smiled and blushed even deeper as France captured his lips.

'OH GOD MY EYES.' America yelled. France stepped away from England.

'Bonjour Amérique.'

'Yo Francis. Wazzup?' England facepalmed as France looked confused, American slang made little sense to him.

'Come on, let's just go and get some fucking popcorn before I kill Alfred.' England growled. He grabbed France's hand and tugged on America's baby leash and dragged the two of them off.

'Have fun you deux!' France yelled at Prussia and Canada, who were watching the three nations with some amusement.

'How'd you put up with that? Even my family life ain't that messed up!' Prussia laughed.

'You sorta get used to it...' Canada replied quietly, shyness overcoming him.

'C'mon, let's go get our tickets. Is Harry Potter ok? I've read the books and they're almost as awesome as me!'

'Sounds fun.' Canada smiled. The two nations made their ways over to the ticket booth.

'Two for Harry Potter please.' Prussia asked.

'Two? So you're meeting someone here then?' The ticket seller asked.

'Erm, no, the awesome me's date is right here.' Prussia answered, pointing to Canada.

'Oh, sorry! I didn't see you there!'

'I-It's O-ok... N-no one does...' Canada muttered. Feeling sorry for the younger nation Prussia grabbed his hand and began to drag him to the sweet shop.

'The awesome me'll buy you anything you want!'

'R-really? Y-you don't have to...'

'Nuh uh, Mattie, I insist!'

'Well, ok...' Canada smiled and wandered about the small sweet shop, not letting go of Prussia's hand. His eyes lit up when he saw Maple Candy.

'Um, this please.' He mumbled, handing it to Prussia, who looked at it briefly.

'You like maple syrup too! Awesome!' He declared, grabbed a box of pop corn and some candy floss for Gilbird and went to pay.

'Veeee~ Doitsu?'

'What is it Italy?'

'Ve~ Why are we spying on Gil?'

'Because, Bruder is an idiot who might cause world war three, and I'm not too keen on that.'

'Ve~ Oh yeah, because Doitsu doesn't want to lose again?' Germany grimaced; he hated being reminded of his failures in the past.

'Yeah, something like that...'

'Vee~ ok!'

'Aaaaarrtiieeeeee, I'm booooooored!' America whined.

'We've only been in the queue 5 minutes!' England snapped at the younger nation.

'Soooo?'

'Holy Roman Empire, just wait for fucks sake.'

'Aha! C'est tellement mignon quand vous êtes embarrasser comme ca!'

'SHH, S'il vous plait!' England frantically replied in rough French.

'IIIIIGGYYYYY, I DON'T UNDERSTAND FRENCH!' America whined.

'What we're saying doesn't involve you Alfred.' England muttered.

'YEAH, BUT YOU MIGHT BE PLOTTING TO DESTROY ME WITH LAZERS AND TEA.' America was drawing odd looks.

'Hush Amérique, I was simply saying how cute Mon petit lapin is when he gets all flustered!' France stated, making England blush. America began howling with laughter.

'Iggy, cute? AHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAAA!'

'Oui, Mon petit lapin is absolutely adorable when he goes rouge and pouts!' England's blush deepened.

'What does 'Mon petit lapin' mean?' America questioned, pretty much recovered from his laughing fit.

'I won't tell, as I wish to keep my vital regions in tact...' France said quickly, not wanting to annoy England, besides, he might need them later.

'Iggy? what does it mean? TEEEEEEEEELL MEEEEEEEEEE!' America yelled. Unable to bear the younger nation bothering him England told him.

'It means 'my little rabbit' I used to like them when I was younger.' England mumbled, blushing. America began laughing again, now almost crying with laughter.

'Hey, Gilbert, isn't that your brother and Italy in that bush?' Canada asked, tugging on Prussia's arm.

'So it is. Damn that west! Always spying on the awesome me! Hey, isn't that America giving glaring at us?'

'M-most probably, j-just ignore h-him, h-he'll get bored eventually.'

'If you say so, c'mon the movies gonna start!' Prussia yelled, grabbing Canada and dragging him into the cinema.

* * *

**Ok, this is short because I haven't had much time to write.**

**Mainly as IT IS BLOODY BOILING.**

**so I had a water fight with France, America, Austria, Hungary, Denmark and Grandpa Rome. **

**(the Italies have flu)**

**So yes, short.**

**AND I THINK MY BRAIN HAS BROKEN.**

**I used to ship USUK, but becuase of this I'm into FrUk.**

**America's gonna kill me.**

**Btw, I edited the French parts of this, becuase I'd got it a little wrong **

***Facepalm*  
**

**Reviews?  
**


	4. HP,distractions and awesomeflies

It was all a little awkward when Prussia and Canada got into the theatre, they'd arrived early, and the previews hadn't even started yet. Hating silence Prussia decided to try and make small talk.

'So... What's it like at your place?'

'A-a little cold, w-we've got a lot of unusual a-animals too. O-oh and we've got a lot of Hockey stuff...'

'Hockey?'

'Ice Hockey, it's huge at h-home.'

'Oh, awesome! You'll have to show the awesome me to play some time!'

'Yeah, I'd like that.' Canada smiled and relaxed. He'd been put on edge by America's idiocy, but was now recovering from over exposure to the American. Prussia grinned back at the younger nation, awesome-flies attacking his stomach (Yes, Awesome-flies, Prussia's way too manly for butterflies!)

'C'mon, this way!' England yelled, dragging France and America into the theatre. They'd agreed to see Harry Potter, as it was a joint favourite of the three, even though England had already seen it. Six times.

'We're coming Mon petit Lapin! The movie hasn't even started yet!' France laughed at Brits excitement.

'YEAH BUT WE DON'T WANT TO MISS ANY OF THE AWESOME FRANCIS!' America cried, trying to run ahead, but restricted by the baby leash. France shook his head; it was moments like this that you could really tell the two were related.

'D'accord! I'm coming!' France chuckled and ran after them.

'OH FOR THE LOVE OF MAPLES!' Canada screamed, making Prussia jump. They'd been having an interesting conversation about maple syrup and Gilbird when Canada randomly yelled.

'Mein Gott! What the hell's going on Mattie?'

'Al, Francis and Arthur are all fucking here!' Canada growled.

'Yeah, but aren't Artie and FailFred Harry potter nerds?'

'Yeah, i s'pose.'

'So they're probably just here for Artie to fanboy while Francis gropes him.' Prussia reassured, slinging a casual arm over Canada's shoulder. Canada stiffened slightly, shocked by the sudden movement, but quickly settled into the crook of Prussia's arm.

'I AM TELLING YOU IGGY! LUNA ENDS UP WITH NEVILLE!'

'NO SHE DOESN'T! NEVILLE MARRIES HANNAH ABOTT!'

'THEN WHAT ABOUT LUNA?'

'Ahem, I think you'll find that Mademoiselle Luna ends up with monsieur Rolf Scamander.'

'WHO ON EARTH IS HE?'

'Alfred, do you have to fucking deafen us? Any way, if my memory serves correctly, judging by his surname he's the son of the man who wrote Magical Beasts and Where to Find them.'

'Oui, correct mon petit lapin.' France muttered in England's ear, and then lightly kissed the top of the smaller nations head. 'DO YOU HAVE TO DO THAT?' America demanded.

'Oui.' France replied, grinning craftily. He winked at America and went back to kissing England.

Growing more and more bored by the second, and currently unable to have another Potter conversation with England (France was currently licking his face off), America started to kick the chair in front of him. We all know how infuriating it is when people do that, but America had no consideration for the smallish Italian man in front of him.

'Vee~ Doitsu!' Italy whispered urgently in the taller countries ear, tugging on his sleeve.

'Yes Feli?'

'Vee~ someone keeps kicking my chair!'

'Tell them to stop then! I need to keep an eye on Bruder.'

'Ve... But what if they're bigger than me and scary?'

'Well, turn around and check how big they are first.' Italy's head whipped round, he caught a brief glimpse of America and poked Germany.

'Ve! Doitsu! They're bigger than me!'

'Fine, Fine, don't worry I'll sort this out.' _Like always _Germany thought and turned around.

'Excuse me sir, do you mind not kicking my boy-'

'GERMANY!' America cut him off.

'Germany?' England and France asked in unison, pulling apart.

'Vee! I'm here too!'

'FELI MAH MAIN MAN!' America yelled and high fived the Italian.

'VEE! YES AMERICAAAA!' The two nations carried on in this manner for quite some time while the others merely stared at them in disbelief. Eventually Germany managed to shush Italy and the group settled down.

Canada sat there, eye twitching slightly. America and Italy were being so loud that the whole audience could hear them.

'Gil, this is getting annoying now.'

'What is?' Prussia asked, worried that he'd managed to annoy the younger nation.

'Your brother and Feliciano are spying on us too.'

'MEIN GOTT WEST! THAT'S JUST UNAWESOME!'

'G-Gilbert, calm down, people are l-looking.'

'Oh, sorry Mattie, I'm just sick of West treating me like a kid!'

'W-wait, aren't you the older brother?'

'Yeah, that's what really pisses me off!'

'I-I have a plan to get rid of them...'

'Oh yeah?'

'But it involves some outside help, and we'll have to move cinema...'

'All right, spill.'

'I-in a moment, b-but first, I-I need you to lean forward...' Gilbert did so, raising an eyebrow, he trusted Canada not to do anything odd. Canada lent forward as well, slipping his phone from his pocket. Canada brushed his lips lightly against Prussia's quickly texting France at the same time. 3..2...1..._america._

'OHMAHGAWD NO. PRUSSIA MOVE AWAY FROM MATTIE!'

'ALFRED SHUT UP, IT'S ABOUT TO START!' England yelled, not noticing France grinning slightly as he checked his phone. He smiled at the message from Canada.

**_Distract the stalkers, Gil and I need to go._**

'Hey, Amérique, Harry Potter is better than Twilight!' France yelled.

'NO IT ISN'T TWILIGHT IS AWESOME!'

'Awesome my arse!' England yelled.

'WELL I DON'T SEE ANY OF YOU LOT CREATING SUCH BADASS VAMPIRES!'

'THEY SPARKLE FOR GOODNESS SAKE! AND YES THERE ARE!'

'OH YEAH? WHO?'

'DRACULA!'

'HE'S FROM TRANSYLVANIA!'

'YES, BUT MOST OF THE STORY HAPPENS IN WHITBY AND THE BLOKE WHO WROTE DRACULA WAS BRITISH SO HA!'

While the two nations were arguing Canada and Prussia managed to sneak out without being seen...

Or so they thought...

* * *

**DUUUN DUUUN DUUUUUUUUN!**

**BAD CLIFF HANGER.**

**pfft, sorry this is late. **

**It's been one hell of a busy half term!**

**btw, no offense to Twilight lovers, but Harry Potter's better :)**

**This took a while because I got sucked back into the Potterverse...**

**I didn't even need to look up who Luna ended up with...**

**Reviews?  
**


	5. gilbirds Idiosyncratically delicate body

'JUST FACE IT ARTIE, AMERICAN TV IS BETTER!'

'OH YEAH? THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN HANNAH MONTANNA?'

'WELL, IT'S BETTER THAN LIFE ON MARS!'

'THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU REMADE IT!'

'WELL WE USED MOST OF YOUR PLOTLINE, SO THE BRITISHNESS BROKE IT!'

'WHAT THE HELL? YOU CHANGED THE ENDING COMPLETELY, I MEAN _ASTRONAUTS?_'

'YEAH, IT MAKES IT AWESOME!'

'NO IT DOESN'T AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO GENE HUNT?'

'IMPROVED HIM!'

France sighed, his comment about Harry Potter being better than Twilight has set the two nations off on one of their 'my house is better than yours' arguements. The two had been through movies '_OH C'MON ARTIE, WE ALL KNOW YOU LOVE SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE!'_

football,

_'WE ONLY DREW BECAUSE OF GREENS BUTTERFINGERS!' _

and comedy.

'_WHY ARE SO MANY OF YOU COMEDIANS GAY, TRANSVESTITES OR DRAG QUEENS!' _

_'You say it like it's a bad thing...' _

France decided to shut them both up by kissing England and covering America's mouth with his hand.

_Ah, peace at last. _

Canada and Prussia sneaking out had only been noticed by a certain, small Italian. However,as he was about to mention this to the others the movie began, diverting his attention. When the plot slowed down for a moment Italy tugged on Germanys arm.

'Veeee~ Doitsu?'

'What is it Feli?'

'Ve~ Matthew and Gilbert have left...'

'What? When?'

'Ve~ about 20minutes ago!'

'WHATDOYOUMENATHEY'!' America yelled.

'Ve...?' Italy hadn't understood a word that had just come out of Americas mouth.

'He asked how that was possible if he was watching them.' England explained, slightly annoyed that he could understand the American.

'WE'VE GOTTA GO FIND THEM!' America leapt out of his seat and stormed out of the cinema. Due to the fact that he was holding America's baby leash England also got dragged out, leaving France to chase after them.

'ALFRED YOU BLOODY GIT STOP!'America twisted around on his baby leash and kicked Englands legs, surprising the island nation. England yelped and fell to the floor, releasing America, who ran out of the cinema and after his brother and Prussia.

'LAPIN!' France cried as England scrambled to his feet and began to chase after America.

'Francis? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING JUST STANDING HERE? AFTER HIM!' England yelled. France obliged and began running.

'HAHA. YOU'LL NEVER CATCH THE AWESOME HERO, I HAVE SUPER SPEED!'

'ALFRED F. JONES GET YOUR YANKEE ARSE BACK HERE NOW.'

'FUCK YOU, YOU OIL SPILLING TERRORIST HUGGER!'

England stopped in his tracks.

'...terrorist hugger?'

SMACK.

'BLOODY HELL FRANCIS! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!' England yelled. France had run into him, as his long hair had blinded him momentarily.

'Sorry! Sorry!' France muttered, annoyed that America had interrupted his date with England.

'It's alright i supp- BOLLOCKS! WE'VE LOST HIM!'

'Oui, we have.'

'You don't seem to bothered about this! The fucker's either gonna get lost, killed or actually find and interrupt Matthew and Gilbert!'

'I'm not too concerned.'

'Why the fuck n... Oh.' England began, but stopped as he noticed the all too familiar look of France's face.

'Fuck Amérique, Mathieu et Prusse, we need some 'us' time.' France muttered in his ear. England blushed but soon composed himself.

'TO MY HOUSE!' He cried, France picked him up bridal style and began to run.

'I-I'msorryabouthisgilbert.' Canada muttered in a giant mush as the two nations walked out of the cinema.

'It's alright Mattie! Besides, this is kinda awesome...'

'Running from our siblings and father figures on a date isn't what I'd call awesome Gil...'

'Yeah, But it's like being in a movie! Some kickass music will starting playing soon and America will slowmo run after us! Then BOOM. FIRE.'

'Boom, fire?' Canada raised an eyebrow questioningly.

'Yeah! That'd be an awesome film!'

'Whatever you say...'

America powered through the streets, determined to find his brother and peel that albino creep off of him. After what happened in the movie theatre he needed to be the hero and defend his innocent little brother! He turned a corner and saw them, just standing there. For once, he decided to be subtle.

'HEYY, I WAS JUST WONDERING WHERE YOU GUYS WENT.' America called, waving at the couple.

'O-oh, hey America... G-gilbirds s-sick so w-we're taking him t-to the V-vet...' Canada randomly lied.

'Oh yeah! Gilbird usually has an awesome immune system, but he's... Allergic to the material the cinema seats are made from...'

'IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?'

'Yeah, they lack the sufficient bio-quality which his idiosyncratically delicate body requires.' Prussia deliberately used big words to confuse the nation.

'OH, OK. I SHOULD PROBABLY FIND ENGLAND. I SORTA DITCHED HIM.' America wandered off, scratching his head.

'Idiosyncratically delicate body?' Canada asked, arching an eyebrow.

'Yeah, you tend to pick up big words like that round West.'

* * *

**OMG.**

**This is late and short! I''m so sorry! please don't hurt me and steal my vital regions! I NEED THEM!**

**Ok, I have exuses, many many excuses.**

**The screen fell out of my laptop, repeatedly. I've been busy with Tests, Trips out, Prom, family shizz, Friendship shizz, relationship shizz, -ness.**

**SRS BEANS GUYS.**

**BUT, I _should _be updating more... hopefully.**

**Also, has anyone heard the English dubs yet? **

**WTF DID THEY DO TO CHINA? HE SOUNDS SO MANRY!**

**But, yeah, they're ok...  
**


	6. Clameron, Dating and 'Gilly'

_**LONDON IS CALLING TO THE FARAWAY TOWNS  
NOW WAR IS DECLARED – AND BATTLE COME DOWN  
LONDON CALLING TO THE UNDERWORLD  
COME OUT OF THE CUPBOARD, YOU BOYS AND GIRLS!**_

'Hello?' England inquired a bit nervously, usually the Prime minister only rang if something bad was happening.

'England, we need you to go hang out with America!' He cried down the phone.

'Yeah, because David really stuck his foot in it again.' His deputy added in.

'Be quiet Nick.'

'Hang out?' England was confused, usually their relations where pretty good, something must have happened.

'Go cinema or something!' David suggested.

'But I just went with him!' England cried, exasperated.

'That's good! Where is he now?'

'Running around trying to find his brother and Prussia.'

'And where are you?'

'Lapin, come back to bed, or are you too sore?' France purred beside him.

'England, who's that?' David questioned.

'Shush, my boss is on the phone!' England whispered furiously.

'But Elizabeth is used to this, non?'

'No! My other new boss who only came into power a few months ago!'

'ah, oops.'

'England?' Nick cut in.

'Yes?'

'who're you with?'

'Francis.'

'Francis who?'

'Bonnefray...'

'And who's he when he's at home?'

'France.'

'France?'

'Oui, moi.'

'And why is he asking whether or not you're sore?' England felt his face go red, he really didn't want have to explain things to his Prime minister and his deputy.

'Because we were working out...' He improvised wildly.

'Working out?' David didn't sound convinced.

'Yeah, we need to get our strength back...'

'Strength back?'

'You know, war and bad economies and all that!' England chuckled nervously.

'O-oh, because we thought you meant something else...' Nick muttered.

'A-anyway Sir. I have a question.' England quickly cut in, quickly changing the subject.

'Yes?' David and Nick asked in unison.

'Why did America call me a terrorist hugger?'

'O-oh, well... You know the oil leak BP may have caused...' David started.

'Yes, Alfred won't be quiet about it.' England said angrily.

'Well, it seems that BP has been linked to the early release of the Lockerbie bomber.'

'Ok...' England was stumped by this; it seemed that he may have to look into it.

'Anyway, we must go, Florence is crying and we've things to organise.'

'O-oh yes, my congratulations and condolences sir.'

'Thank you England, now we really must go, but don't forget, AMERICA. Goodbye'

'Good bye Prime minister.'

'Bye England!'

'Goodbye Mr. Clegg' As soon as the words left his mouth the phone went dead, sighing with relief England threw it on the floor.

'That was close, non?'

'S-so, what d-do y-you wanna do now? Canada asked, watching America's back as he ran off.

'Hmm, I know a pretty awesome restaurant nearby... If you wanna go?' Prussia sounded uncharacteristically unsure about this, sure the restaurant did good food, but it was a bit, well, 'coupley' and this was only the first date.

'Y-yeah, that sounds cool.' Canada smiled, and gingerly grasped Prussia's hand, causing the older nation to smile slightly.

'Come on then!' Prussia laughed, and began running, dragging the Canadian with him. They ran hand in hand down many winding streets, Canada was completely lost, but Prussia seemed to know exactly where they were. They ran for what felt like ages, but soon they ground to a halt outside a small restaurant.

'This looks quite...' Canada started, but was cut off.

'Terrible? Old fashioned? Like Artie and Francis owned their own restaurant and they let Poland decorate?' Prussia shot off, he'd heard several other nations insult the restaurant, but he quite liked it.

'...Expensive.' he finished, shooting Prussia an odd look.

'Oh...'

'But it looks pretty nice.' Canada smiled at Prussia, who was blushing a little.

'Great! C'mon, I need to go sweet talk the owner into giving us a table!'

'Sweet talk?'

'Yeah... You're supposed to make reservations...' Canada rolled his eyes followed Prussia inside.

Well, it was certainly... not at all what Canada expected. The restaurant was very quaint and didn't at all look like somewhere Prussia would usually go. He let his eyes roam over the mahogany tables and random ornaments as he half listened to Prussia's 'sweet talking'.

'Aww! C'mon Roxanne! Please?' Prussia whined, using puppy dog eyes.

'Gilly, you _know _you're supposed to make reservations!' 'Roxanne' replied, she looked to be in her late 30's/ early 40's and was a brunette with piercing hazel eyes.

'I know! But can't you just let me off? The awesome me has a date!'

'A date? What girl has enough patience for you?'

'Roxanne, _he _is pretty darn awesome.'

'He?'

'He.'

'And where is this mysterious date of yours?'

'He's over there.' Prussia pointed at Canada.

'Where?' Roxanne squinted, she couldn't see anyone...

'THERE.' Prussia practically screamed, Canada waved a little, causing the restaurant owner to notice him.

'Oh... He's cute...' Canada felt his cheeks burn a little at this.

'So...?'

'Fine, but don't you _dare _get drunk again Gilly! We've got a couple in who actually made reservations, unlike you.'

'Don't worry about me Rox, I'll be on my awesomest behaviour!'

'That's exactly what I'm worried about...' She muttered, heading toward the bar.

'I've got us a table!' Prussia declared.

'I heard. _Gilly._' Canada sniggered.

'Urgh, don't, Rox feels the need to give everyone pet names.'

'I gathered. How do you know about this place any way?'

'West dragged me here one time, I ended up on a double date with him and Feli.'

'D-double d-date?'

'Yeah, I had to put up with Romano for three hours. Boy was Toni pissed!' Prussia laughed.

'I don't envy you, Romano gives me a headache.'

'Romano gives everyone headaches, why do you think Toni carries paracetamol with him?' Canada laughed and the two carried on chatting good naturedly until a smug, Austrian accented voice cut across their conversation.

'And just who is _this _Gilbert?' Austria asked, half mocking the albino nation.

'_This _is Matthew, now fuck off Aristo.' Prussia spat obviously annoyed that the Austrian man was there.

'And have you forgotten the rules about dating people who aren't like us?' Austria raised an eyebrow.

'No I have not. Austria, this is Matthew Williams, also known as Canada.'

'Cah-Nah-Dah?' Austria looked perplexed.

'I-I'm Alfred's b-brother...' Canada spoke up, voice trembling more that it had the entire night.

'Why are you even here, you fucking aristocrat? I would've thought that this'd be like slumming it for you!' Austria straightened up and glared at Prussia.

'For your information Elizabeta rather likes it here.'

'And where is your darling little psychopath?' Prussia asked with an innocent smile on his face.

'She's... I don't know...' Austria looked round, a confused look on his face.

'Escaped from her cage, has she?' Prussia grinned.

'Goodbye Gilbert.' Austria snapped.

'See ya fuckface!' Prussia waved as Austria stalked off. 'I hate that bitch.' He muttered to a laughing Canada.

* * *

**OMG.**

**THIS IS REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY LATE.**

**I'M SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY!**

**My life right now is just a whole mess of shizz, not even joking.**

**I've been really busy now that i'm in year 10 tbh.**

**Btw, you may have noticed I don't like Austria much.**

**I know I haven't been replying to reveiws, but I will from now on! :D**

**Reviews make me happy :) 3  
**


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